President Of the Internet

I'm Running for President Of The Internet. I recognize there is a certain presumptuousness in this -- a certain audacity -- to this announcement. I know that I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of the Internet, but I've been there long enough to know that the its made up of a series of tubes.

It took a lot of blood, sweat and tubes to get to where we are today, but we have just begun. Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the internet we leave our children is just a little bit better than the one we surf porn with today.

Today, we gather to affirm the greatness of the internet - not because of the uberness of our ISP's, or the speed in that we can download porn, or the size of our epeen. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a series of tubes made over ten years ago.

We need your help! Support us in our campaign to add more tubes to the internet! WE NEED MORE TUBES! WE CANT DO IT WITH OUT YOU.

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**Disclaimer**
This is not real, There can be no president of the internet. Giving me money would only encourage me to promote this more...However the internet is still made up of tubes.